There was this yard sign I had to look at twice. I wish I’d had my camera.
It said, “THIS IS A NO GUN ZONE!” Now usually that means, “Rob this place. Kidnap the children, terrorize the parents, panic the dog, you’re safe here.” But this sign had small print.
Underneath the “THIS IS A NO GUN ZONE” there was another message which said, “But beware of the booby traps and the snakes. We haven’t seen our meter reader for weeks, though our garden is having a bounty this year!”
Saw a T-shirt on a very scary guy with tattoos and a lovely 11 year old girl. His shirt said, “If you hear my bullet, you weren’t the target.” It reminded me of Get Smart. He misses spectacularly and it ricochets around 7 or 8 objects and disarms the bad guy. He then says, “I meant to do that.” I couldn’t help thinking that that poor girl will never have a date in high school.
I saw a very buxom young lady who had a message on her shirt that said, in very small print, “To anyone who is watching you try to read this message, you look like a pervert staring at my chest.”
The disadvantage of being Darth Vader is that you cannot sneak up on someone. The advantage is you don’t HAVE to sneak up on anyone. Your very breathing causes people to wet their pants.
Jackie Chan holds the Guinness Book World Record for the number of stunts performed by a living actor. Who holds the record for the number of stunts performed by a dead one?
I find it amusing when people use logic to disprove the existence of God. God invented gravity. Why should he suspend that just so your house doesn’t careen into the ocean after a heavy rain. Do you suppose that he orchestrates the Tsunamis and the earthquakes to only happen at inconvenient times? Does he allow the laws of nature to be broken on a regular basis and not have any consequences–global warming, the dust bowl, droughts, floods, cancer, allergies, extinctions? No? Well then why would someone say that since the laws are in place, they should be suspended because it has a bad effect on people? Then they write their conclusions based on the fact that the laws of nature are the LAWS of nature, not the suggestions of nature. “God is not omnipotent; God doesn’t care; God doesn’t exist,” like those are the only 3 conclusions you can make regarding evil in the world. How logical is that? Among the things set in motion are man’s intelligence, resourcefulness, tenacity, and resilience that allows the human race to continue to thrive despite the natural and unnatural disasters of this planet. So the conclusion is that Man is not omnipotent, and Man doesn’t care. God exists whether anyone believes it or not.